Get Up Close and Personal; It Helps

Empathy.

That’s what we were told to have. Never get involved, our nursing instructors told us. If you sympathize or identify with the patient, you won’t be able to really take care of that patient. Worse yet, you’ll carry the burden of every patient’s illness.

Yes, by all means, stay detached.

If the nurses who were taking care of my sister as she was being prepared to enter the OR for a double mastectomy had followed that creed, she and her husband, who was at her side until she rolled through the OR door, would never have experienced the sense of comfort that they did.

Here’s what my brother-in-law wrote on my sister’s Web site just after he kissed her and watched her wheeled through the double doors:

Ok, she's off to surgery. As you can imagine, the docs are all very confident. The whole staff is supportive. The nurse came to wheel her away. You know how they go through the questioning to make sure they're not cutting off the wrong appendage? The nurse asked what she was having done. After Jenny told her, the nurse said, “I had your surgery a year ago.”'
That's the third survivor we've met today. The woman in the radiology reception room was one. The radiation tech that came to get Jenny was another. It just goes on and on.
Like the nurse said, “The bad news is that everyone you know has had breast cancer. The good news is that everyone you know has had breast cancer.” She also declared, “You'll do great. I never missed a beat.” And, she had to have radiation AND chemo.

That nurse who shared, as well as the other hospital employees, brought solace and confidence to both my sister and her husband. I’m sure she helped relieve their fears.

I can’t imagine initiating that sort of exchange 30 years ago. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to bend the rules or to have been so open about my personal experiences, but I’m glad times and attitudes have changed. And fortunately, so many women entering the nursing profession these days are older and have had many life experiences that will only add to the psychological support they can offer their patients.

I’d love to know if nursing schools are still teaching empathy these days.

What are nursing schools teaching about sharing personal stories and experiences?

Do you think nurses should offer personal stories to patients who might benefit?

Are there disadvantages of being open with patients and families?

Tell us what you think.